🇬🇧 UK

How do I start helping a vulnerable relative with their care and money?

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UKUpdated 6 October 2026 · Written by BuyMeWhiskey Editorial Team · How we check facts

Start by asking the council for a free care needs assessment, then set up the right legal authority for their money (a third-party mandate, DWP appointee, lasting power of attorney or, if capacity is already lost, a deputy) and check the benefits you both can claim.

First step: ask your relative's council for a free needs assessment. Use the GOV.UK postcode tool to find the right council.

Find their council on GOV.UK

Start with one question: can they still make their own decisions?

Almost everything depends on whether your relative has mental capacity, meaning they can understand, remember and act on information well enough to make a particular decision. Someone with a physical illness, sight loss or frailty usually still has capacity; they just need practical help. Someone with advanced dementia or a serious brain injury may not. Capacity can also come and go, and it's judged decision by decision.

If they have capacity, they stay in charge and you help with their agreement. If they don't, you need a legal route before you can act on their money.

Step 1: get the care side assessed (it's free)

Ask the local council's adult social services for a care needs assessment. It's free and anyone can ask for one, including a relative. A social worker or occupational therapist looks at how the person manages washing, dressing, cooking and getting about. The assessment is the gateway to things like equipment and home adaptations, help at home from paid carers, day centres and, eventually, care homes.

Tips that make a real difference: be present if you can, describe the bad days as well as the good, and mention the small things they now struggle with, such as turning taps or using the kettle. Leaving things out can reduce the help offered.

If you're doing a lot of the caring yourself, ask for a carer's assessment too. It's free for anyone over 18, separate from your relative's assessment, and can be done at the same time. It can lead to breaks, help with travel costs and other support.

Step 2: choose the right way to help with money

Pick the lightest tool that does the job:

Third-party mandate: your relative, while they have capacity, tells their bank to let you use one account. It's good for paying bills during an illness, but it isn't suitable if they're losing capacity.
DWP appointee: if benefits are the main income, DWP can appoint one person to claim, report changes and spend the benefit in the person's best interests. You don't need a deputyship just to manage benefits. DWP visits the claimant and interviews you first, and you're only the appointee once you get form BF57.
Lasting power of attorney (LPA): the best long-term option if your relative still has capacity. There are two types: property and financial affairs, and health and welfare. Registration costs £92 per LPA unless a reduction applies, and takes about 8 to 10 weeks if there are no mistakes. A financial LPA can be used once registered, with their permission, even before they lose capacity.
Court of Protection deputy: if they've already lost capacity and never made an LPA, you apply to the court. It's slower and dearer, and you'll file a report to the Office of the Public Guardian every year.

To check whether someone already has an LPA or a deputy, send form OPG100 to the Office of the Public Guardian. If they have a registered LPA, they don't usually need a deputy.

Step 3: check what money they, and you, are entitled to

Many older or disabled people miss out on disability benefits and the extras that follow from them. If your relative gets a qualifying disability benefit, such as Attendance Allowance, the daily living part of PIP, or the middle or highest care rate of DLA, and you care for them for at least 35 hours a week, you may get Carer's Allowance of £86.45 a week. Your earnings must be £204 a week or less after tax, National Insurance and expenses. In Scotland you apply for Carer Support Payment instead.

Carer's Allowance can affect other benefits for both of you, so get a benefits check before claiming.

Step 4: keep it clean

Keep their money separate from yours, keep receipts, and write down significant decisions and why you made them. Attorneys, deputies and appointees must all act in the person's best interests, and an appointee can be held responsible for overpayments if changes aren't reported.

Free help

Citizens Advice can explain the options and help with forms. The Office of the Public Guardian helps with LPA and deputy questions on 0300 456 0300. Your local NHS service or a charity can also help you ask for a needs assessment.

First-year official fees: two LPAs made early vs a property and affairs deputyship

Worked example

Jo's mother, 82, has early dementia but can still make decisions with support. She gets Attendance Allowance. Jo spends about 40 hours a week helping her and earns £180 a week after tax from a part-time job.

Care: Jo asks the council for a needs assessment for her mother and a carer's assessment for herself on the same visit.
Carer's Allowance: her mother gets a qualifying benefit, Jo cares for more than 35 hours a week and earns under £204, so Jo can claim £86.45 a week. Over a year that's £86.45 × 52 = £4,495.40, before any effect on other benefits.
Legal authority, done now: her mother makes both LPAs while she still has capacity. Registration costs 2 × £92 = £184.
Legal authority, left too late: if her mother lost capacity first, Jo would need a property and affairs deputyship. The first year would cost the £432 application fee, the £100 new-deputy assessment fee and the £320 general supervision fee: £432 + £100 + £320 = £852, plus £320 a year after that and a report every year. A hearing, if needed, adds £266.

Acting early saves £852 − £184 = £668 in fees in the first year alone, and months of waiting.

How do I get a care needs assessment for my parent?#

Contact adult social services at their local council, by phone or online, and ask for a needs assessment. It's free and anyone can ask for one. Be there if you can, and describe everything they struggle with, including the small things.

Can I manage my relative's bank account for them?#

If they still have capacity, they can give you a third-party mandate for an account or make a lasting power of attorney. If they've already lost capacity, the bank will need to see a registered LPA, a registered enduring power of attorney or a Court of Protection order. The bank will also ask for proof of your name and address.

What's the difference between power of attorney and a deputy?#

A lasting power of attorney is made by your relative while they have capacity, and they choose who acts for them. A deputy is appointed by the Court of Protection when someone has lost capacity without making an LPA. Deputyship costs more, takes longer and comes with yearly supervision and reports.

How do I deal with a relative's benefits for them?#

Ask DWP to make you their appointee by contacting the office that pays the benefit, such as the Attendance Allowance or PIP helpline. DWP visits your relative and interviews you before deciding. You then claim, report changes and spend the money in their best interests.

Can I get paid for looking after a relative?#

You may get Carer's Allowance of £86.45 a week if you care for at least 35 hours a week, the person gets a qualifying disability benefit and you earn £204 a week or less after deductions. You also get National Insurance credits. It can affect other benefits, so check first.

How do I find out if someone already has power of attorney?#

Fill in form OPG100 from GOV.UK and send it to the Office of the Public Guardian. It will tell you whether an LPA, an enduring power of attorney or a deputy is registered. If an LPA exists, a deputyship usually isn't needed.

What help can I get as a carer for a relative?#

Ask the council for a carer's assessment, which is free for anyone over 18 and separate from your relative's own assessment. It can lead to breaks from caring, help with taxi fares, practical help at home and contact with support groups. You can ask for both assessments to be done together.

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Sources

Figures checked against these sources on 6 October 2026. If a rule changes, we update the page and its date.

General information, not personal financial advice. Rules depend on your circumstances; check the official source or speak to a regulated adviser before acting.